malasnyer..

okay..as you all can already read..we are trying to get my youngest brother attached..hahahahhaa. ni belum masuk my youngest sister.... like what my eldest bro cakap..she dah ada bopren..hahahaha. so kita tengok camana eh :) and my third brother is suffering from something. tak tau apa. again, we'll see how.

this morning, sean nak gi kerje, but i said tak payah lah. he kena stomach flu yesterday and so, the whole day keluar masuk toilet. and he was so weak coupled with his stress, i thought it might be better for him to just relax kat rumah. he did say , that kalau dia tak gi kerje i have to call his front desk person that i got into a tiff last week. i bilang kat dia..i can call the other lady lah. his asst. he said okay..i went down to get the phone. terpikir jugak, if i were to call this other person, then what would the other one say kan. makin keruh lah agaknyer the situation. so i ni kira, not saying that i am a matyr kan..decided to take the high road. i tepon dia and told her that sean will not be going in. kept it short and simple.

after that, i went to run errands with my friend before going for the meeting. guess what, while turning into the street where sean's clinic is, i saw her getting into her truck...lahh..so eksyen bebual ngan kawan i..just to not make eye contact. so drove past her...phewww!..then pergi bank nak deposit something...alih2 jer kat lane sebelah she pulled up lah..wahhhhhhh!...nak tak nak..i figured since i am already there and she saw me..the most i could do was smile and wave at her. maklumlah katakan i ni courteous...my mak selalu cakap, senyum kat orang tu even if dia buat kita marah...tak baik tak tegur menegur..so i waited to make eye contact, and waved at her. i can tell you waste karen betul. this would be the last time i am going to do that lah. i mean, i've tried and the rest is up to her. she waved back but she didn't even smile ..in fact muka mencus sehhh and cam nak tak nak gitu nengok kat i..dalam hati i..i cakap takper2..and my friend saw the whole thing..so never mind.

went home told sean. i cakap kat sean, i tak leh janji that i will be on my best behaviour when i am around her. i will be civil yes, but satu hari nanti, bila i dah tak leh take it, i told him that i will dish it out to her. i will not over step my boundaries as to fire them. i am not in a position to do so. i will , however, lay it out in front of them and they can stay if they want to and they can go for all i care. i bilang kat sean..not to worry and not to fret. i will handle it my way. if they raise a stink, just let them know that it is between them and me. i cannot sit idly by, while they show disrespect towards patients, well some of them and towards us. if sean, wants it that way, that is his business, but i at least demand some respect. sebab i treat them with respect. we are not obligated to provide benefits for them. ni dah terbalik. but takper..i bilang kat sean, we will handle it quietly..one more time she talk to me that way..i will become more aggresive. my suara ni kuat..just ask my siblings and my daughters. bak kata my mak..cam i telan mekrophone..hehehe.

next week thanksgiving. kena pergi rumah sean nyer parents. rasa2 cam malas lah. malas sebab, rasa2 cam tak semeriah when i get together with my own family. ketawa besar2..makan sampai perut senak..hehehe. kalau kat sini..nanti sean will be sitting quietly in one corner..nanti adalah orang bebual pasal politics..and say stuff which i find so stupid..but i biasa mmg keep quiet ajerlah. malas nak masuk campur...but i did tell sean. lagi sekali if his father say that bush is good and that it is not right for one country to control the oil even if it is within that country nyer property, i will say something. so kalau singapore tu ada minyak..it is okay for US to invade is it?..heheh. and if he agrees that the patriot act is good and apa2 lagi act lah and that they feel safer..i nak tanyer safer for whom? for him or for all of us? kalau he said i don't have to worry, i will say i have every right to worry. since i am not a citizen and i am not christian, they can just detain me at anytime and have me put on trial without my presence. so in this light, am i suppose to feel safe?...hai...sometimes orang kat sini they don't think ahead down the road lah. that is why sometimes malas nak discuss pasal politics. then there are others that go wayyyyy over to the other side. all the conspiracy theorists..lantaklah..

ingat, nak bawak bekal epok so can eat in the car while driving up to his parents. kasi kenyang perut dulu. maklumlah, the food can be bland sometimes. nak nak now, that they are on a strict low sodium diet. but sometimes, it can be very nice too. i think like me, sometimes his mom has her off days lah. kalau tak pergi nanti..siap lah. cold shoulder galore. okaylah..have to go and look busy now :)..heheh.

oh by the way, suriyati, i dah dapat keropok ikan, thank you so much lah. dua hari berturut, the girls and i makan nasi lauk asam pedas with keropok goreng. yummmss! sarah calls it chippies..sarina calls it crackers. i tengah ajar diorang how to say keropok..hahaha.

for kak chom...comment kalau dah ada kat situ tak leh delete unless i yang delete..hahaha. and oh, abang, that picture where sarah is in her pyjamas, tu rambut tengah groovy lah. baru bangun tido that is why senget sebelah..hehe

boring sehh...

anyway, yesterday was nice and relaxing. since sean tak keje, we decided to go to kansas city. i need to find somethings and he wanted to take a drive somewhere. since sarina is in school, well we had only sarah but my friend offered to keep the kids. so why not lah kan..hehehe. we figured that this would be the time for us to go out by ourselves. when the orthodontist comes in once a mth. get a sitter for sarah and sarina will spend time with naomi. it was nice and quiet in the car. yelah..kite bebual takder suara nak interrupt ask ini and itu. or asking us to turn on the radio ke apa ker..all in all we had a good day. gi lunch pulak, time takder orang..so we were at the rest all by ourselves. best..leh ketawa kuat2 and not feel so self concious..hehe. leh makan sampai berserak meja..takder orang nak jeling2 kat kita..well, yang berserak cuma sean nyer side jer..entah camana dia makan tah..crumbs all over the place..hahahah.

the boring part, you may ask? ni lah..as it is, i handle the financial side of the practice kan. i mean...sean dah lah stress with hsi work and having to deal with patients the whole day..ni lum masok bab his staff. anyway, i told him that i will be calling his front desk person this morning to tell her that if there were to be any calls from anybody with regards to the accts payables...tell them to call me at home. and i said tak yah lah nak bilang kat sean sebab i am trying to relieve his stress level. dah kan..simple jugak kan. i also said that if the letter from the insurance co datang, telling that the premium is overdue..to just chuck it into the trash. sebab most times, the payment will already be there, and it is on the same day that they printed and sent out the reminder. happens all the time. sebab when i go online to check, the payment has already cleared.

so then she in her all knowing voice..said something like..yeah you did not send it on time..that is why..you pay late..they sent this letter out. bilang kat dia..we have 10 days grace period...so it doesn't matter...and also we have never missed a payment before. nak nak for health insurance..we never play around with that. tak kuasa lah kan..so hang up and went to work. i balik check the phone, there was a call from the office. ingatkan sean..so i tepon balik. she said that she was the one that called. i tanyer oh..what about. this was how our conversation went.

her: i recieved this letter which said that the premium is overdue and that brad ( her son) went to the doctor on the 1st of november and that his claim got denied. the letter said that it was over the grace period and they still have not recieved the payment and blah blah blah...

me: i don't know what to say. as far as i know i have sent the payment. and i think the insurance company would tell us if we are in trouble.

her: well, brad has another appointment this week and i want to know if this is going to be a problem and that i do not want to be embarassed by having our claims denied.

me: let me call up the company and see what they say. as far as i know we are current and that they will never deny the claim just like that.

her: well you told me to chuck it aside when i get letters like this, well i am not going to do that. i will not just throw it away just because you say so.

me: (by now i was so mad. who is this person telling me all these but takper sabar..sabar) let me call them up and then i will call you back.

so i spoke to the rep and there was no problem. she said that no claim will be denied because of that. claim pun, the clinic will not put in their claims that very day. the only way the claim can be denied is if our plan is cancelled and as far as they can see, it is not. they said that they will send a note out or the very least give us a call. it happened once before, we were new in this business and sean forgot to send the payment out. they didn't do anything. they just said..well just a reminder..pls send pymt immediately. which we did and that was that. so i finally got everything worked out. there was no problem at all.

by now sean was already home and i can tell that he was almost hyperventilating due to his panic attack. his main fear is that we are in trouble. i bilang kat dia...no..so far alhamdullilah..rezeki ada. cuma he needs to increase his production. bilang kat dia..yeah you are as busy but maybe you are not like all those other dentists who just like to crown everything, just to make more money. so now, i bilang kat dia, instead of wait and see on a tooth..why not just crown it if you think down the road it may need one anyway. all that you are doing is buying time for these ppl. and then..kalau rezeki kita ada..they will come back to you to have it done. but sometimes rezeki takder..they decided to go to another dentist, who charged higher for it and not only that...they tell these ppl that they needed more work done than necessary. but then..it's their choice. we both decided that ppl like or want to be lied to. so gasaklah..

anyway, talked it out with him..just to calm him down. but instead i got madder pulak when he told me that this lady came into his office and barked at him. something about, she thought that sean was the boss and then why am i telling her to do things a certain way. sean was surprised but told her that anything financial i am the one handling it. hence, i am the best person to be told about such things. lahhhh....i think diorang ni ingat, we work for them ker ahh...sib baik lah sean to manusia yang baik. masih think about his staff yang perhaps tak suka him because he married a foreigner and being a muslim at that too. the xenophobic remarks that they made in front of him, made me want to ask them..what do they think of me?

dah lah tu...so i had to call her back kan...this was how it went:

me: i called them up. there was no problem. brad's claim is not denied....

her: (she interrupted me) i didn't say that.

me: what?...

her: i didn't say that his claim was denied. i said that he has an appointment soon and i do not want to be embarassed if the claim is going to be denied.

me: you told me that he went to see the doctor on the first and that you got this letter telling you that his claim was denied. and that you wanted to make sure that all is okay so that if he goes in again, you would not be embarassed...

her: i did't say that..

me:(i went like whatever)..anyway, sean told me that you asked him if he is the boss...i would like to apologize if i have upset you this morning. i just handle the finances and i don't want him to be bogged down by this.

her: whatever...i just don't like to think that i am being sneaky.

me: sneaky..he knows what i am doing..

her: yeah he told me that...

me: (dalam hati..lantaklah) okay..just disregard whatever you recieved in the mail

her: yeah i know that

if only she had told me like that..i could have just said..sure go ahead..nothing to worry about.
felt like telling her what the hell...hai..ni i baru have to go through this one time with her..but what about sean yang kena endure this for the past 3 years.... hai..if sean lah like any of the other dentists who had no qualms of firing people or not offering health insurance...dah lama dah dua dua ni kena tendang. but because sean ni very thoughtful person, tak nak nengok single mothers susah kan...he didn't do what our consultant told us to do..but did they think about this..i bet NOT. never lah.. wahhh...boleh pengsan i dibuat nyer this morning. sampai takder mood nak masok keje..so terpaksalah sean tepon leberi bilang that i tengah sakit...muntah2..mmg i rasa cam nak termuntah darah talking to her..ingatkan orang kite jer belit eh...mat salleh nyer belit lagi teruk lah... ishh...kesian leberi kena buat camtu by me..hehehe. but takper..this morning i dah sep leberi..sebab i went in to cover for someone who is really sick. hehehe. mintak2 they percaya..sebab i pun cam longlai this morning. my teeth is giving me problems. well...just some sensitivity along one part of the gums. i am due for a cleaning. ni ah nama ajer my hub dentist..nak masuk clinic sendiri pun kena sneak in at night time the two ladies takder kat situ. okaylah ..better go..makin sakit hati i ni i rasa..hahahaha.

thoughts...new addition...sick..

Tuhan pun berfirman,"Wahai para malaikat-Ku, sesungguhnya raja yang zalim itu pernah berbuat suatu kebaikan. Kerana itu aku balas kebaikannya itu, sehingga pada waktu dia datang menghadap-Ku, tidak ada lagi kebaikan sedikitpun yang dibawanya. Dan aku akan tempatkan ia pada neraka yang paling bawah! Sementara raja yang baik itu pernah berbuat salah kepada-Ku, kerana itu aku hukum dia dengan menyembunyikan ikan-ikan itu, sehingga nanti dia akan datang menghadap-Ku dengan seluruh kebaikannya tanpa ada sedikit pun dosa padanya, kerana hukuman atas dosanya telah Kutunaikan seluruhnya di dunia!

jenab sent me an email containing the above excerpt. which makes me think again about my life. has it been easy? has it been riddled with obstacles? takut jugak lah you know. i have always been grateful to what has been given to me. and i try to not forget that all comesfrom HIM. i just hope, that i can do better and be stronger. i have to .... for i am afraid of what could be in store for me in the afterlife. ponder ponder ponder....



anyway, we have a new member in the fay family. we got her last wednesday. so sri..another baby girl for me..hehe. discovered that rudy was adopted by his foster mother. maybe she is afraid that i am not a good candidate sebab i tak tulis any references. anyway, bagus jugaklah dia dah kena adopt. so last week, i called the humane society here and ask if there is any kitten available. tak kisahlah kaler tak sama cam hobbes. they said that they have a couple of kittens and i went to take a look at them.


there were two of them. one bigger than the other. the smaller one..looks like hobbes. cantik, but the other one..comot. tak lawa sangat, but she is so adorable. very friendly. she climbed up my shoulders and didn't mind me holding her..lari sana..lari sini. maklumlah budak kecik katakan. so, i took her home. and alhamdullilah...so far takder gaduh. i think everyone is getting along fine. cuma mr.b jer memula kept hissing at her and you should have seen him stalking her. he didn't hit her or anything, but imagine kena kejar dengan a big fat giant. kesian nengok si kecik ni..but she pun satu..kacau orang yang lebih besar..she thought that mr.b's tail ni a toy. with thing, she kept chasing him. satu hari tu kena jugak ketuk kepala dia dengan thing...cos again, she jumped on his tail.

the vet took care of her since baby lah. she had a brother, but dah ada orang amik. tinggal dia jer..she called her flash. i nengok kucing ni, mmg cam the flash..lari sana lari sini..but for some reason i do not see her as the flash lah.. then sean cakap , why not name her shraan...well for you trekkies, you'd know that it is the andorian's name. but i still do not her as 'shraan'... so last night, we finally found a suitable name for her. oh before that. i thought of calling her comot..coz that is how her colouring is. she is a calico. but after the girls and sean cannot pronounced the name...scrap the idea. the way they pronounced it is ..'sha moah'...i said ..comot..with a hard t at the end..huh what?..sha moah..what is sha moah mommy...hai.....so anyway, she is officially 'spot'. yep, that is her name...why spot...entah..same could be ask for why 'thing'?


also, we got our car back right. so figured that we could go somewhere friday night. well, 40 miles into our driving, i smelled something and i heard sarah making noises. turned on the light and saw that she had vomitted. *sigh*..so had to turn back. stopped somewhere and cleaned her up. she kept throwing up and had a touch of diarhea (american spelling..hehe). so for the rest of the night, there was dry heaves and i felt so bad for her coz she kept asking for water and we couldn't give her any. she got better yesterday when i got home from work, but sarina started throwing up. and it kept up till late...so the living room, had to be converted into a sick ward. had the bucket and the wipes, the blankets, the pillows, toys..etc. this morning, they seem to be well. perhaps it is just a 24 hour flu bug. this weather is bad. it is nice and warm one day and cold and uncomfortable the next... so tomorrow, i am taking both of them to get their flu shots. and that's that..hehehe. i hope sean doesn't get it. it is not good..coz he gets it really bad.


to mona, happy birthday ah :) and to yaslam, wish your gal a happy birthday to her too :) sape2 lagi yang share b'day with mona and i this mth...wish you all a happy b'day. to zul, thank you for the b'day wish ... papagi i bukak computer...ada msg :) okaylah..nak kena gi kemas the living room and nak kena sterilised the whole place..hehe.

warning...gambar banyak

well, i am so tired. ni lah, jadi pak sanggup. in this case mak sanggup eh :) i was approached by one of the librarians if i would like to conduct a computer class for the center of learning. well, basically what it is , is this computer base classes held by the library for adults. and the topic that i was to cover was Flickr. it's not that bad. straight forward, but yang leceh nyer is that, i kena buat the handout lah. so i was given this topic for like ..what...2 mths ago. and when did i start doing the handout, bearing in mind that my class is two days from now..hehe...today. so apa lagi lah..had to cram. and sib baik i am the type that function very well under pressure. selamat dah siap. cuma nak kena proof read by susan.




well, i managed to sell a few of the stuff that i made and i got like 3 orders for the flower bracelet in swarovski crystals. hehe..naddy tak suka this small crustals. takper nanti i buat this venetian glass beads for you to see. it is very pretty. i love the way the colours complement each other. from the blurry gambar kan, i sold the earrings and the bracelet that was made out of the light blue beads. i also sold a necklace and earring set that my friend ordered. i sold, another set of necklace and earrings, made of coin-shaped fresh water pearls and gold tojo seed beads. :) happy, happy :) alhamdullilah. now with christmas coming, perhaps, they will order more.




actually, i ni segan nak jual. just so happens that, i was wearing what i made when one of my colleage saw what i had on. she mmg suka pakai all these things. i pulak, suka but now dah malas lah. maklumlah, i am no longer working in a formal environment...hehe..nak nak time sejuk ni.











i pakai sweater and jeans jer. paling2 i pakai sweater lawa sikit, but mostly since keje evening time, i pakai those hanes cotton sweater jer. make-up , make-up ni seme..so not necessary..hahaha. anyway, she told me about one of her friends yang suka buat these things too and that she knows a lot about it. i told her, i ni baru starting2 jer. i tak tau lah nak buat yang cantik2. so one night she showed me what her friend had made for her. she had this swarovski's crystals dengan silver beads. i nengok the bracelet asnd told her..that i know how to do that. i am now working on something different.




so since she nak nengok, and i thought, well my opp to show my keras tangan, i ran home, which is like lat dua rumah..haha. and brought it over. she saw that and she liked it immediately. of courselah, since it consists of all swarovski's crystals, it is not that cheap. well..cheap jugaklah..considering, but the time and effort i put in to yang i tak tau camana nak put a value to it. anyway, i have other ideas on what to make.




i have also experimented with wire work.
using croshet needles, you kira crochet this 24 gauge wire and then you string beads in between the holes. and what do you get? you will get something like this. and kalau you use a thicker gauge wire, you can make all sorts of things. but i think mostly, my fave is beading. kira macam jahit all these beads together to form whatever bracelets with whatever designs that you like.



anyway, last weekend was very nice. a perfect fall day. i had the bicker kids as well. so by the time lunch is over, i apa lagi, told the kids to go out and play. and furthermore, the yard is full of leaves. lawa, but since, sarina said that she would rake the leave is i pay her, why not. i ended up paying naomi and her 2 bucks each. they raked like 3 bags of leaves. they could have done more but sarina got side tracked. she decided to rake the neighbours yard, sebab one of her schoolmate is there. i reasoned with her, why should she do that when she has her own yard yang lagi berserak.but all in all, i think they had fun. it was gorgeous. kalau lah the car didn't have problems, we would have gone hiking. sib baik saturday dapat jugak gi hiking sekejap. hopefully the car will be ready by friday. bukan serious sangat, just need to replace the hoses and the water pump jer. maklumlah kereta dah tua...hehehe..camana eh lagu arwah sudirman tu..is it ; orang biasa..kereta tua'..hahaha..ni main hentam jer..





we don't like buying new cars, sebab once you drive the car out of the lot, it depreciates quite a bit. that, and also kereta baru mahal lah.. but we are thinking of buying a second one as a backup. kira second, thrid hand or even fourth hand car..hehehe or maybe buy the same year and model as our current one. reason being, we are familiar with it. sri, you kata nak datang tolong rake kan..ni ah nengok berapa banyak dedaun yang dah gugur. dua tiga hari pun lom tau habis..hahaha. bak kata kak za, dunno why ppl here will rake and then there will be more leaves in the next few days yang jatuh ke bumi :)




well, this pic was taken last night. nengok betapa penat nyer si sarah. entah apa dia buat during the day that come time to eat dinner, wah lepak seh. but nak tak nak kena jugak kejut dia makan. kalau tak siaplah..malam nanti dah lah tido lambat, she will ant to eat at a much later time. then gedebak gedebuk, tido gerenti nak dekat midnite. okaylah, dah nak kena gi lipat baju. berlambak pulak tu.

wanita melayu terunggul kat hiawatha..hehe

yelah..yang terunggul sebab i am the only one here..hahaha. well, the past few days and this morning, i thought i had all these things to say here. now that i am allocating this hour to post an entry, my mind went blank all of a sudden..hehe. but i think, i was thinking of writing about still being a malay....masih pekat teloh melayu i. i takder slang *tutup telinga kat sri..lalalalalala*..hehe.


anyway, here are a couple of pictures of girls and i during hari raya. ni lah baju raya yang si paul kata i celebrate halloween early. this baju i have had since 1993 i think. or 1994. i love it. i wish there are more of this sort of batik design. ni pun i got it from my dad. that time they would go to kelantan and terengganu to buy kain and sell it over here. he did pretty well jugaklah, but there were some issues with the tukang jualkan kain. something about commission and the fact that she didn't pass the payments to my dad. so that was the end of the business. this kain pun, nobody wanted. dunno why..i like sebab it is so striking..haha. but is is also very comfortable too. ni ah tengah panggil sarina to hurry sebab sean nak amik gambar. si sean pulak tak menyempat..so he went on clicking anyway. i think something is wrong with my camera. for some reason all the pictures came out a little blurry. wahh..sarah sexy habis. kain belah depan habis peha kena exposed..hahaha




well, i have to admit that i was fiddling with the settings and as far as i know, i did return to the normal setting, but still the same leh. have to call the company to find out how what to do lah. lahh..kenapa pulak lambatnyer blogspot ni nak upload gambar. doubt that it is too big lah kan. will try later. anyway, i forgot to take pictures during the dinner that we had for hari raya. sori ah sri..haha. i was too busy mengirai roti lah kan that it just slipped my mind. but rata2, everyone enjoyed the food. the satay was a hit as usual. for me, lauk raya is too heavy. it is too rich that i can only eat it once jer. come the next day i rasa cam muak gitu. so that night itself, i gave away most of the left overs.

few days later, i masak lauk sayur air and fishballs..wahhh..best nyer. makan bertambah sehhh.. sometimes i think the simpler the food, the more delicious it is. sarah seems to like it too. apa tak..i hiris lada padi a bit to kasi pedas sikit. i buat nasi goreng for sean to eat and of course entah apa mood tah..i made cinnamon rolls. yumms! tadi tak tau apa nak masak so buat epok2 sadin jer. wah best makan epok2 minum dengan coke. nikmat!



well, i have to say that, i think it is time for us to let go of the practice. i don't think i can stand this much more. the stress tak leh tahan ..well, i think i can still take it. but i don't think i can sit and see what it is doing to sean. he is not a businessman, so it is not healthy for him to be doing this much longer. i think he will be a lot happier working for the govt. in prison..hehe. this way, he doesn't have to deal with the kerenah of the ppl here and he doesn't have to deal with his pekerja2. dua orang jer , but mak oii..problem problem. maklumlah, kita kan bukan orang sini..so everything that we do ada ajer yang tak kena. dah lah tu, bende yang bukan sean buat, they think that he did it. so they expect him to just do stuff for free. ah ah..banyak nyer free. these ladies, expect him to not charge ppl more but they demand more pay and bonus. isshh. tu lah, sean tak kan nak kasi diorang berenti. he feels sorry for them sebab dua dua single parent. and the fact that he provide full benefits in terms of insurance. kat sini unless you keje dengan factory ke gomen ke, most places dah jarang nak kasi health insurance sebab the cost is too high.





hai takperlah. sean is taking the high road. this morning, i think dia nyer ulcer buat hal..sebab i could hear his stomach really really grumbling. not healthy. okaylah don't want to talk too much about this ppl..hehe. oh, below ni my new hobby. i discovered that i like doing beading and of course making jewellery. bilang jugak sean that since he has worked with gold before, i thought he could melt some of the stuff that i have and not worn in ages . he said he could but cuma takder centrifuge jer..mahal pulak bende tu nak beli kan. so kena scrap lah that idea. lah blogspot ni. the other pictures tak leh upload sebab ada server problem. apa dah...the msg also said that they have informed the engineer.*sigh* but it seems that the problem dah kasi fixed :) see, gambar yang kat sebelah ni..it's blurry. not sure what is wrong with the camera. anyway, suriyati, sori eh i lambat kasi address...hehe. tadi baru email kat you. maklumlah, nak dekat end of the year ni..nak kena pikir pasal taxes lah...insurance lah..ini lah itu lah..hehehe. and sri, i dah dapat your kad. tenk you lah kerana sudi hantar kad kat i. nissa pun sama eh :) eh nissa, i sms you dapat tak ah? okaylah, later :)